Face Book ....of the DEAD!!!

NOTE:  This is a re-post of a Facebook parody from my other blog.  I was going to write something original but since this is the "Season of Halloween" I thought this was appropriate - if not exactly P/C.  (But those of you who know me, already know that the term "P/C" is pretty much NOT in my vocabulary)  Hope you like it:



Finally, the ultimate way to beef up your appearance of Face book popularity WITHOUT the annoying "promise to check in regularly and pretend to care about your problems" communication agreement we all enter into unspoken, with each new "friend" that's added to our Friends list. That's not including exchanging those damn smileys either.

Here today, I am presenting: Face Book of the Dead

Wouldn't this just be the coolest, if most politically incorrect, Face book Friends list ever?

Think about it.

Facebook is really nothing more than a giant cyber-slam book in which millions of people all over the globe frantically hurry to connect with people they've never met, always hated or even tried killing in the past - all in the name of popularity and connection status. The upside of Face book is it's really easy to find people you hadn't thought of since you gave them a wedgie every Monday all four years of high school. On the downside - some of them actually expect you to conversate with them once in a while - AND send those stupid smileys. What an incovenience to your already hectic schedule!

The Face book of the Dead friendslist could change the way we pretend to be interested in other people for the sake of our own agenda and eradicate the headaches of Popularity Upkeep forever!

The ease of collecting "dead friends" and the new program benefits should be obvious to anyone who can count to 10 and read See Spot Run, but for the rest of you, here's a How-to rundown:

Check Internet, TV and Radio newscasts every day for updates on a list of dead or dying celebrities. (Yes! B movie stars like Shirley Jones and Yasmin Bleeth count too!)

Check Face book's Face book of the Dead new arrivals list. (It's an application you'll be able to add on invisibly, so it won't be advertized on your Profile that you're a heartless, cold asshole - even though you really are!)

When you see a dead celebrity on the new arrival list and you want to add them as a friend, it's simple! FIND EM', CLICK EM' and FORGET EM'. It's that easy. They'll automatically be added to your list in a "special group" subcatagory.

And don't be hasty and reject adding Carot top in death, just because you hated him in life. A Face book friend is a number is a number is a number and NUMBERS add up! Plus you won't have to worry about keeping in regular contact with any of them. Whenever you check in, even 10 years from the day you added them, they'll be doing the exact same thing they were doing before - nothing! And NO special hugs, greasey licks, skid marked troll sprinkles or ANY of that bullshit that you have 48 hours to return before being labled a Face book LOSER.

And extra friends, no matter what the source, are sure to make you look like one cool Face book jazz cat...

Don't take my word for it though...see for yourself. 

Just Check, Click, Add, Forget! and you're on your way to being the member with the most friends on his Friends list - even if a few of those friends are rather stiff and boring...